🦋 When Was the Last Time You Did Whatever You Wanted?

When was the last time you spent an entire day doing exactly what you wanted? Not what needed to get done, not what was expected of you, nor what fit neatly into your schedule. Doing what your mind, body, and spirit called for?

For many people, that question is usually met with a laugh, a sigh, or a long pause. Recently, I found myself doing the same.

Leading up to a holiday weekend, someone casually asked what my plans were. Without missing a beat, I replied: “I plan to do whatever the F&%k I want, when I want, how I want, wearing what I want, with no one but me, myself, and my puppy.”

I laughed with relief and pending excitement. Then came a simple follow-up question: “Don’t you already do whatever you want on the weekends?”

At first, it seemed like an easy answer. Of course I do. Don’t I? The more I thought about it, the more I realized the answer was actually: no. Not entirely.

Like many people, my weekends often include commitments I genuinely enjoy. Teaching yoga, meetings, social plans, community involvement, and activities that align with my values and bring meaning to my life.

But they still come with schedules, responsibilities, and expectations. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, something inside me was craving a different experience.

Not escape. Restoration. There is a difference.

I have experienced seasons of numbing and escaping before. Most of us have. When life feels overwhelming, it is easy to distract ourselves by staying busy, scrolling, and consuming. Doing things to avoid the very things asking for our attention.

Restoration feels different. Restoration is not about checking out. It is about checking back in. Back into your body, back into your needs, and back into yourself. And that is exactly what this weekend became. Not because of any single thing I did. It was not the bike ride that made me feel alive again after nearly two years. It was not the extra day off when sunshine and warm weather called my name. It was not the afternoon by the pool, the phone left behind, the long-awaited fast, the extra sleep, or crossing tasks off a list that had quietly occupied space in my mind. It was the freedom woven through all of it. The freedom to choose, to listen, and to trust what I needed in the moment instead of what I thought I should be doing .

What surprised me most was not how much I enjoyed the weekend. It was how much I needed it. Somewhere along the way, many of us become incredibly skilled at building lives around our obligations, our careers, our families, our communities, and our goals. These things matter. Deeply.

But sometimes, without realizing it, we create lives that work for everyone except ourselves. Lives that are full yet leave very little room to simply be.

Maybe that is why so many people struggle to answer the question:

When was the last time you did whatever you wanted?

Not because we are incapable. But because we have forgotten we are allowed to. We wait for permission. Permission to rest, to slow down, to say no, and to honor what our mind, body, and spirit are asking for. The truth is, no one is coming to hand us that permission slip. At some point, we have to write it ourselves.

What the weekend reminded me is that intentional living is not about doing more. Sometimes it is about creating space. Space to breathe, to listen, to reconnect, and space to remember that our needs matter too. The goal is not simply to build a beautiful life. It is to build one that includes you.

Affirmation

I give myself permission to honor what my mind, body, and spirit need.

I am intentionally creating a life that includes me.

With gratitude,

Natalie 🦋